Going through past notes, choices, changes...

Thinking of past notes.....choices....

As I go back and read notes I wrote upon visiting my father last winter, I am struck at the ultimate choices we all make.  Mine, for not recognizing and doing something to make changes. And my father's, as he remained in a situation that was not healthy.....

Who is to blame? Both and neither....we wanted something that was not to happen, wanting the past to continue on, sameness...and in a way, so did he....we all mourn the changes that we don't like.....but must trust and go on.....there will always be ups and downs, hard and easy, highs and lows, dark and light, wise and unwise decisions....

Lord, I have to thank you again, even though it is hard....to let go, to go back, think through the challenges sometimes, to move, to change, to reflect, the "what ifs", the "might have beens",  but I oh so want that peace that You promise for saying thank you....it is hard to look back and now see the end result of notes written, taken this last winter....even though my dad has passes away




Jesus Calling, Jan 18,
I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow-covered peaks glistening in brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to Me.

Learn to trust Me when things go “wrong.” Disruptions to your routine highlight your dependence on Me. Trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweigh them all. Walk hand in hand with Me through this day. I have lovingly planned every inch of the way. Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and steep. Breathe deep draughts of My Presence, and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!

Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
—John 21:19

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
—2 Corinthians 4:17

The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.
—Habakkuk 3:19

I have been thinking, observing through this short trip to Three Rivers....
1. Dad is down physically and emotionally. He is depressed.  So many changes in a short period of time.
From Fortuna ,where he knew people for 40 plus years, was active in community places-church, farm bureau, bear river group, loop road friends, Friday morning donut get togethers, teaching teachers, etc. etc etc.  He has always been very social and loving to tell stories, share peoples lives with a purpose to continue on.  He had the woods to work in as well to visit with neighbor of nearby timber ground.

2. Need to communicate and challenge him to at least write stories, jokes.  Us to ask questions.
He was much more animated when we had dinner out with family. More people around.
His mind is very active and he still remembers more than I ever will.

We miss his letters, jokes, stories and encouragement.