"What does it say?"

"What does it say?"

"The world is reading your life. What does it say?"
From "Let in Light: His Truth Every Morning for 31 Days (Sacred Mundane Book 2)" by Kari Patterson

 I read this quote recently...and felt somewhat desolate... Does anyone really care what my life reads? I go day to day, doing what I feel needs to be done, sometimes seeing no one...few know what I do, few see or really care what I do...this is loneliness speaking...

I swim or jog in the pool three times  a week, so I see those people who occupy "my" end of the pool...shop at the grocery store with strangers, attend a Bible study once a week for 7-9 week segments, attend church on Sundays, walk with a neighbor daily, receive 5+ phone calls a day soliciting funds for veterans to political causes, read business letters on the email....play word games with friends regularly and chat with them...mundane things...

Not the day to day phone calls or meals that once graced my married life...the small talk of everyday living, the deep things shared with a lifetime mate, the opinions, feelings felt, the prayers, the hand holding, the intimacies of life... those are gone...never to be repeated...his picture placed on the dresser like a dream of long ago...was it real? Or a fantasy?  Of course, I know it was real, there are growing and maturing families from the union, there are abundant memories, provisions, connections with a multitude of people and originations ...but the day to day is gone...the polishing of the temperaments-gone as well...the challenges of the aloneness has set in for whatever years are left here...I am so glad God has a listening ear...

So, what does my life say?..I want it to read as in Proverbs or Galations, the lists of what a righteous person is...wise, upright, respected, seeking good...giving fruit from the tree of life, attaining life,  blessing others, a listening ear...but sometimes there is a bleeding, weeping, selfish heart underneath the outward appearance which needs renewing by the Word of encouragement...soul filling music of worship...Thank YOU  for  your encouragement...your heart of love and compassion which speaks to my soul in the depths...and you bring me out of the miry clay... And place my feet on solid ground...

Proverbs 11

Psalm 40:2-3, 5 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.