Role changes…2022

We’ve come to the section in Griefshare which touched in role changes…after the loss of a loved one…spouses, children, even friends…

Where do we fit with friends, family, those around us…in small groups, family groups, this may change…some feel uncomfortable and not able to accept the changes we have experienced…we are of “odd” number in a group…when all we may want is someone just to talk to “normally “…not left out because our life has changed sooooo much…

I am now ten years out this month…time has crawled at times and flown at others…more than half of my grandchildren don’t know their grandfather….where I have lived or live, no one knows me as a wife…

We still use business advisors, but, even they have changed and didn’t know my husband…I have gotten younger ones who can relate to my children…but, I can go to the older ones myself…

The world has marched on…

Roles do change…lives do change, children grow up, paths change, new chapters are being written….God has been so gracious in guiding the way…opening doors, closing others…I have learned and and still learning to settle in His peace…

Thank YOU…. 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

“Answered prayer....contentment....2013
 


One of the things I have been "fighting" since my husband's death is change of roles or "new hats" I have had to put on....
 
I was comfortable in my old roles ....and I didn't want change or like the change...I didn't want the authority, the final decision making responsibility to lay with me...I wanted it like it was...him being the businessman that he was, not me...I liked working on women's church  issues or time to work in the floral shop, to create, to serve in other areas...not business....not paperwork....not my forte...
 


But, apparently, God had other plans....but He did them so graciously .....we still had a trusted administrative assistant, lawyers, accountants and partner who knew and willingly advised and counseled about what to do and where to go...my husband and I had even added this list of advisors to our estate planning binder for our children to call upon in case  something should happen to us...I am glad we talked over the qualities of each and agreed on them...as I am now using them...


 
I remember the day we walked into one of our lawyer's office....we sat down as usual with unusual news...we have known him for 25 + years...he had helped us with so many things, from adoption to land issues to wills to trusts, a friend....we sat there before him and told him about my husband's cancer and our deadlines of changes in paperwork, the many  changes we needed to make, quickly....his face in dismay, his burden for us evident (his wife's mother had just died from exactly the same cancer).....a good advisor...
 


Or our administrative assistant who was going through issues of her own...a friend ....and so much more in our business...she helped immeasurably ....while she herself was losing her father to dementia ....and finally death as well...


 
Or the accountant, with my uneducated questions about what was right or wrong with various accounts and accounting procedures ....
 


Or our partner, who this past year has repeated radiation for his own cancer and received a new voice from throat cancer....his work and enthusiasm on work projects...and diligence through his cancer, his father's death....
 


I would call upon these wonderful advisers, friends with all sorts of questions...how to do this or that,...and they would patiently walk me through them......

I realized the other day that I wasn't as rattled or anxious about the decision making as I was a year ago...I was in a better place emotionally ....time had  helped...Prayer had helped...

God had intervened yet again to add contentment in this area of my life....
 
 But beyond me, God has been working in all of our lives, through drastic events, deaths,  cancer, moves, business ups and downs, church revision, graduations, job changes ....we are all a small microcosm of the whole world in flux...
 


We are to give thanks in ALL things....I usually want to do that in my perceived good only ...but the Word says ALL...not part or things of my choosing, but ALL...contentment in ALL as well...

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Then the peace which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus...Phil. 4:6-7
 


Thank YOU for answered prayer, peace, guarding my heart and mind...”