Struggling....with sin...

Struggling....with sin...

I have to admit that I have been struggling these last few days...have been working through Hosea's admonishments to Israel, their sins, what that says to me in my life...what are my sins that God wants to expose ....and then our pastor is dealing with Christian Atheism and that is  hitting hard as well...what is God saying to my heart and life...I feel so unworthy to even be sharing life through blogs...on one hand, but feel compelled to do it on the other hand...who am I to even share...

This verse woke with me this morning...as I seek out what to write...

Isaiah 6:5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” 

Followed by these...

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

Isaiah 1:17-18 Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed.Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. “Come now, let us settle the matter,”says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. 

I want my journey with God to be Christlike, holy, forgiven, ....to be on His path, not my own...His words, not mine...refined...

Revelation 3:15-19 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 

Thank YOU that you use so many avenues to speak to,our hearts...that You love us so much to discipline....thank YOU...

Half baked and ridiculed....

Half baked and ridiculed....

This chapter in Hosea has so many pictures; bakers, adulterers, senseless flocks that could describe me, those around me, our nation or just Israel ...or have no reference at all, empty words...

But, God's word is given for ....

2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ....

Could these words be a rebuke of my behavior, our country's,  our world's behavior and rejection? If so, do I need correcting, training in righteousness? Or our country ???  Oh, yes...these words dig deep into my soul, our country's heart...exposed, sinful, wicked, lies, double hearted, half hearted, turning away from the One who provided/trained, deceived, insolent, ridiculed, following after false gods...

These words don't just apply to Israel of long ago, or even currently...they apply aptly to my heart...as well as the country that was founded on Christian principles not so long ago or the world population....and God says He will remember their evil deeds...not just ours but those who have turned their back on Him...anywhere ....

There will come a time of judgement, when all the world will acknowledge that He, indeed, is LORD of all....

Thank YOU for Your Word, both to rebuke my soul and correct my thinking, my heart...I pray that your Word does not go unheard wherever it is given...

Hosea 7:1-16 1 whenever I would heal Israel, the sins of Ephraim are exposed and the crimes of Samaria revealed.

They practice deceit, thieves break into houses, bandits rob in the streets; but they do not realize that I remember all their evil deeds. 

Their sins engulf them; they are always before me. 

"They delight the king with their wickedness, the princes with their lies. 

They are all adulterers, burning like an oven whose fire the baker need not stir from the kneading of the dough till it rises. 

On the day of the festival of our king, the princes become inflamed with wine, and he joins hands with the mockers. 

Their hearts are like an oven; they approach him with intrigue.

Their passion smolders all night; in the morning it blazes like a flaming fire. 

All of them are hot as an oven; they devour their rulers.

All their kings fall, and none of them calls on me. 

“Ephraim mixes with the nations; Ephraim is a flat loaf not turned over. Foreigners sap his strength, but he does not realize it.

His hair is sprinkled with gray, but he does not notice. 

Israel’s arrogance testifies against him,but despite all this he does not return to the Lord his God Or search for him.

 “Ephraim is like a dove, easily deceived and senseless—now calling to Egypt, now turning to Assyria. 

When they go, I will throw my net over them; I will pull them down like the birds in the sky.

When I hear them flocking together, I will catch them. 

Woe to them, because they have strayed from me! 

Destruction to them, because they have rebelled against me! 

I long to redeem them but they speak about me falsely. 

They do not cry out to me from their heartsbut wail on their beds.

They slash themselves, appealing to their gods for grain and new wine,

but they turn away from me. 

I trained them and strengthened their arms,

but they plot evil against me. 

They do not turn to the Most High; they are like a faulty bow.

Their leaders will fall by the sword because of their insolent words.

For this they will be ridiculed in the land of Egypt. 

Obsession...

..Obsessions....

What are my obsessions?

This is a hard core reality check...

In her study of Hosea, Jennifer Rothschild*, basically asks this  question to her  readers...

What do we "desire, dwell on, defend, dedicate, deny and depend"???

Whoa, I don't want to answer those questions...then truth sets in, God whispers, "let's examine these, bring these to the light of day...where am I in this picture?.."

What activities, thoughts, actions do I do that place themselves higher than God in my life???

Each person will have a different answer and each person will have an answer when digging deep enough...we are not perfect by any means and God will help us dig deep...He want truthfulness in our lives as well,  and we/I need to lay them out...hand them over to the REAL God...

We may laugh at the idols, handmade, covered with gold or whatever of others, enshrined,  but I have some as well... Not something I sit on a shrine for others to see but, something that is just as worshipped in my life ...something I desire; I dwell on; something I defend; something I dedicate time, resources to; something I deny or depend upon....reality check...who or what takes my time away from the things God has planned...my way...

Exodus 34:17 “Do not make any idols. 

Leviticus 19:4 “‘Do not turn to idols or make metal gods for yourselves. I am the Lord your God. 

1 Samuel 12:21, 24 Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless. 

But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. 

Psalm 106:36 They worshiped their idols, which became a snare to them. 

Isaiah 42:8 “I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols. 

Jonah 2:8 “Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them. 

1 John 5:21 Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. 

Thank You, Jennifer,  for your truth seeking, your admonishment ....your sharing with your lessons...

thank YOU, Father, for wanting to be so involved in my life, truth giving, convicting, through Your Word and Spirit ...help me to dig deep, examine and eliminate the idols which I hide away, worship and ignore in the light of day...

*Hosea, by Jennifer Rothschild, Lifeway Press, 2015.

Did I really do or think that???

Did I really do or think that?

There are times, many times, when I surprise myself with the sin that is hidden or not so hidden....times when pride puffs up...errant thoughts surface,  unkindness exhibits...selfishness prevails ....or innumerable bad attitudes take over....they just come bubbling out, spewing their awfulness all over myself and anyone who happens to be near...ugh.....did I really do, say or think that??? Did I really act that way?....but, but....where did it come from?? I am supposed to be this "good" person, a Christian...Oh, Father, forgive me ....again and again...I am not perfect and won't ever be here on earth...

I was thinking that recently ....things that I don't want others to discover ...But God saw my heart and conviction followed quickly, forgiveness was there in a word...sins were covered...God is faithful...Thank YOU...

1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. 

Psalm 51:1-4, 7-10, 12 Have mercy on me, O God,according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassionblot out my transgressions.

 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 

Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 

Create in me a pure heart, O God,and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvationand grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 

Proverbs 20:9 Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”? 

 Hebrews 10:22-23 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 

I am the Lord your God...

I am the LORD your God....

I was reading this am ...and this phrase came up several times..."I am the Lord your God"... Reminding me that He is the Lord my God...there is none other and He desires to stay that and not be put on a shelf or ignored in a multitude of ways each hour of each day... 

Nothing else or no one else could or should take that First place in my or anyone else's life...He is the first and Last, never ending, always there, always loving, all knowing, all powerful God...no one made Him, no one can destroy Him, no one or nothing even comes close to what He is, has been or will be...

He is without time or constraint, He is...and will always be...He is, a true fact...no lies can make Him go away, no armies can fight the way He does...

He speaks and it comes to be, by the very words He says...

I am the LORD your God...what a comforting and awesome phrase...

Thank YOU, even though there are not enough words to express that "thank YOU".

Genesis 26:24 That night the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bless you and will increase the number of your descendants for the sake of my servant Abraham.” 

Leviticus 11:44 I am the Lord your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy. Do not make yourselves unclean by any creature that moves along the ground. 

Leviticus 18:4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the Lord your God. 

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;I will help you. 

Isaiah 48:17 This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. 

Ezekiel 34:31 You are my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign Lord.’” 

Joel 2:27 Then you will know that I am in Israel,that I am the Lord your God,and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed. 

Ignorance is not bliss...neither is rejection...

Ignorance is not bliss.....nor is rejection...

More Hosea...

There are consequences to "ignorance " and rejection...loss so unfathomable that it is hard even to imagine...

Hosea 4:6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.

“Because you have rejected knowledge,

I also reject you as my priests;

because you have ignored the law of your God,

I also will ignore your children. 

Hosea 4:14b—a people without understanding will come to ruin! 

Hosea 2:8 She ( could be Israel...me, you) has not acknowledged that I was the one who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, who lavished on her the silver and gold—which they used for Baal. 

Hosea 11:3-4 It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love.To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them. 

When I think my rejection of the Word not only effects generations that I will not know but those whom I know right now...and I realize that each has a free will to choose...but I don't want that burden of guilt...

God is the only sustainer, giver of life, lover of souls, redeemer, Saviour , healer, comforter...He has led and continues to lead...He continues to pursue and desires that none should perish...He gave His Son that all may have eternal life through faith in Him...

thank YOU that are there are the time....waiting patiently...to bless...

Deuteronomy 5:8-10 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 

but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. 

Psalm 71:18 Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation,  your mighty acts to all who are to come. 

Gray...white...

Gray...white...

A year ago I had blond hair...today, I have gray/white...where did the years go?

One of my grandfathers had pure white hair for all the years that I knew him, one grandmother had brown with a few strands of gray...my other grandmother had gray, but she put purple in it, sometimes darker purple than others....my mother colored her hair until into her seventies, then white...my father had some gray...and I have had strawberry blond all my life until yesterday...

I looked into the mirror after my hair appointment, and I was different ....one hair cut made the difference, it cut the rest of my blondish locks away, leaving  the gray...whoa, I wasn't ready for that...vain isn't it?

We go on such outward looks..."first impressions", instead of looking at the heart of those around us..when God looks at the heart of each of us...

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 

So instead of the gray I see in the mirror everyday, I want to look to see if my heart is right with God...that is is clean, contrite, honoring Him is all I do...He really doesn't care about my hair color...He cares about my heart...He is the sustainer, Saviour of my soul...Thank YOU ....help my heart to be right with You no matter what...

Proverbs 16:31 Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness. 

Proverbs 20:29 The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old. 

Isaiah 46:4 Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.