Great performances...

Great performances....

Many of us spend our lives performing...no, not in front grand audiences or in Carnegie Hall, or Radio City Hall...but in front of ourselves,  acquaintances, our family, pastors, or friends...trying so hard to be,loved, accepted, cared for, cherished, some kind of accolades for being a person of worth...

But, our audiences are just as needy for an audience as we are...they are performing, too, for the same reasons...and some cannot even "clap" at our performances or don't know they "need" to...

"Performances", a to do list of list, expectations of ourselves and others are heavy burdens we carry...we can never be "good" enough....some of us struggle with this on a daily basis all of our lives...only to find out that we will never have an applauding audience...and then we beat ourselves more, practice more, perform more...to gain the acceptance we so desperately desire from the ones  we want to please.....

Growing up, I thought one of my friends was more cared for because she sang so well. She thought I was more loved because of my grades...as adults we talked about this with our parents....our parents were shocked, never knowing that we could even feel this way...we both had put false "performance" expectations on ourselves...

Attending a legalistic church was demoralizing because the "to do list" was never ending...

Growing up in a "Barbie " generation was futile. I could never look like that..I felt like an Amazon woman next to my extended family...who are shorter and smaller than I.....I never had perfect hair, the "perfect" body, or acted perfectly ...whatever "perfect" meant...

When I think about the encounters that Jesus had with disciples, individuals, crowds, He didn't choose the "perfect" people or events...he healed the lepers along the road, the blind man, the adulteress....he held children, comforted parents, calmed the storm and so much more...he wasn't going around looking for the perfect....he came to heal the sick,  share of good news of His redemptive love to the needy, of which we all are...

We can never get it all right, we can never perform perfectly, we can never meet all of our expectations or those of others, but we can know that we are loved unconditionally by the Creator of the Universe and in the end that is the most important ...He comes simply to each of us asking that we put our faith in His perfection, His saving favor, His love, His light...He is after all, God...we don't have to "clean" up our act to gain His acceptance, he just wants us to come to Him in Faith, believing who he says He is...  

Thank YOU, God...I know I can never measure up to "man's" expectations...but I know that You love me for who I am...You came for me and all who are like me, needy and not perfect...needing your eternal love...

 

John 8:12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. 

Your are my Lord....

You are my Lord.....

Both readings I turned to this morning said essentially the same phrase, "You are my Lord". At the beginning of a potentially very busy week of business and travel, I needed that reminder...He is the planner, the refuge, the Counselor, the joy giver......the Presence that goes before, behind and with me through all decisions, plans, miles...thank YOU that You don't abandon me along the way, but know the answers before I even know the questions... You know the routes before I even drive, You give breath each moment...You speak through your Word....

Psalm 16:1-11 Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. 

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” 

I say of the holy people who are in the land,“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.” 

Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.I will not pour out libations of blood to such godsor take up their names on my lips. 

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. 

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. 

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. 

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. 

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. 

Learning. Self control...

Self control.....

My youngest grandson who is eighteen  months is learning what "no " means...item by item...

 The other day he was walking by some of my things ...he stopped, looked and said to himself, "no, no, no " then walked on. I hadn't said anything at all, but he was telling himself that this was a not some thing for him to get into....

Other times, he will look at you, reach for something that he knows is a "no" and do it anyway, smirking as he walks or runs in another direction...oh, those eyes of mischief...it hard keeping a straight face...

But, he is learning lessons for life, self control, with a little mischief thrown in...how far the boundaries can be pushed, and what will be the consequences ...plus, a lot of love along the way... 

Maybe this is a life long lesson, self control...with boundaries...maybe others have mastered it, but I am still plugging along, learning new times of use of self control...food, use of time, buying, attitude, etc....it is part of the fruit of the spirit...I am not there yet in working through all of those...but, sharpening away ...with the Father's help...the Spirit of Truth speaking , "no,no, no" to my  heart  when I am loosing control...

We learn lessons from all phases of life, watching others grow, ourselves growing and testing ...never a dull moment...thank YOU...

Proverbs 25:28 A person without self-controlis like a house with its doors and windows knocked out. MSG 

Galatians 5:22-25 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. NIV

Galatians 5:22 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. MSG

The play....

A play...

My teenage grand daughter and I recently attended a high school play in which her friend was acting...a rewrite of Little Women...

It was upbeat, well done, punch lines were funny...the teens did a great job with settings, emotions, timing...

I came away feeling so "old fashioned", "behind the times", "boring"....my soul was hurting ....

I have decided I am a "g" rated person and getting more so...I don't like violence, swearing, using God's name in vain, etc...in other words, "old fashioned".  The use excuse "oh, there is not much -----" gets to me and has gotten to me over the years, even when my own children were teens... As time has gone by, "there is more and more---" of whatever violence, profanity, sex, anti-God, spiritualism....

I find myself watching old "Andy from Mayberry" while I tread on my treadmill rather than the news, or Hallmark movies or cooking contests in the evening instead of the "thrillers " which fill the stations at prime time...that is just me...I am glad there is lots of selections of non violent programing...with decent dialogue...

I loved spending time with my grand daughter...she is becoming such a wonderful young woman...hard to believe she is in high school when just a few days ago, we could cuddle her in our arms...and that really was the point of the evening...spending time...laughing at jokes...seeing and encouraging friends...

Thank YOU for time spent...heal my heart of other pains...and help me go forward, whether "old fashioned or not"...help me be a light not a stumbling block to those around me...

Ephesians 4:29-32 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

Exodus 20:7 “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. NIV

Exodus 20:7 No using the name of God, your God, in curses or silly banter; God won’t put up with the irreverent use of his name. The message ..

A box of rocks....

Box of rocks....

I have  a box a rocks which is labelled burdens...I use them to for an object lesson on carrying around the weight  of the burdens of anger, bitterness, jealousy, malice, etc....we load these burdens in our backpacks and carry them to see the heaviness we carry when we could bring those burdens and lay them at the foot of the cross to let Jesus taken then for us...

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

Putting on a back pack or life of Christ is much lighter..

Colossians 3:8, 10, 12-15 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. 

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 

Anyway, I was hunting for this box and it is missing...!! It dawned on me that that was a lesson it itself..I was missing my burdens...my heavy weights that encumber my life...what Joy!!! Oh, don't get me wrong ....I still bear it often and have to put it down again and again...I take up the heaviness of their weight in worry, self condemnation, doubt, fear...these are burdens as well..and their weight is heavy indeed...I lay them down for one thing only to pick them up for another .....

Thank YOU that my box of burdens is missing...help me to continue  leave is missing with the burdens I should not be carrying, but to leave them with you In trade for your peace....

Mother's Day....

Mother's Day ....

I stopped briefly at one of our local stores yesterday. Mother's Day  sales everywhere ...a multitude of tables filled with flowers of all types, sales in the jewelry and accessories sections, an aisle of cards....balloons, barbecues...

The newspaper had ads for Mother's Day dinners to be reserved for the coming week...

I had looked at cards earlier and they were on their way...but, it hit me again that I was buying cards not for my mother or grandmothers, but for my daughters and daughters in love...I used to buy for my mother and grandmothers...those times have passed into history... I even found cards for them stashed away in my file to be used, but, now the time has passed as they have...

I hope I honored them well enough when they lived, for each were wonderful in their own way. They each loved me as I loved them. They each had a part in building me into the woman I am. They each taught me life skills, love skills, God skills...they were gifted, encouraging women...

Thank YOU for my mom, my grandmothers....those women in my life who gifted me ....thank YOU for the women you have given me, my daughters and daughters in love...they each have talents, gifts that are amazing...each has come a different route into my life which makes each unique and special...they gift me with their lives...bless them with Your favor....thank YOU....

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. 

Psalm 86:11-13, 15-16 Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness;give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. 

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. 

For great is your love toward me;you have delivered me from the depths,from the realm of the dead. 

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. 

Turn to me and have mercy on me; show your strength in behalf of your servant; save me, because I serve you just as my mother did. 

Changed plans....

Changed plans...

 I have written before about plans...how life has a way of changing plans...we don't want to be too set in our ways, it seems...

This past week has been that way...nothing earth shattering...some drama, some sorrow, some funny...some life changing...

I think part of it has been life lessons from the study we are doing..."breaking busy-how to find peace and purpose in a world of crazy" by Alli Worthington. Added to that was youth giving program on contentment...watching for 

Life through contentment instead of complaint...

My daily appointment book is just filled with cross outs, changes, some on an hourly basis...on going phone calls starting before I even got out of bed on some days...one morning I ran out of the house , got in car and realized I still had hot  curlers in my hair...then was on the car phone the whole  way to the next appointment which had changed as well...

It was not all bad things, don't get me wrong, just changes...

One time I did find myself railing at my late husband, " why aren't you here, taking care of these things, you would have known what to do?" ...but, my heavenly Husband quieted my heart immediately..."I can do all things in quietness, power and strength, none of these changes are a surprise, but you must trust ME with who I send to help, and how I take care of them."  Oohhin...piercing to the my heart, my unrest, my "plans", my lack of peace...

I needed to be running to Him for answers and not just running in the hamsters' wheel of my own thoughts...

Thank YOU....You Have plans that offer hope, not distress...contentment not complaint...rest not confusion....Help me rest in those ....knowing that You know what is best for each moment whether I do or not...

Jeremiah 29:11-14a For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” ......

 Proverbs 19:21, 23 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.