Friendships 2…toxic…

 Friendships 2…toxic….

Before my husband and I were married as well as several months afterwards, we visited back and forth with one of his friends and his new wife…we always came away drained from the events…grumpy and out of sorts…we moved away soon and the get togethers ceased…

We finally realized that they had a very toxic/dysfunctional relationship which ran over on us when we were around them…( their marriage did not last well or long)…

Toxic and dysfunctional were words that we didn’t know of at the time, but we sure knew what it felt like to be in that kind of friendship…

Yesterday’s blog about good friendships really brought those memories back…we want to seek good friends…those whom we can bear burdens for and those who will bear our burdens…those who lift us up and not tear us down…etc.

Samson and Delilah come to mind as a Biblical toxic relationship, or Haman and King Xerxes in the book of Esther….plus others…

 “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakesi the fear of the Almighty.

Job.6.14

 In return for my friendship they accuse me,but I am a man of prayer. They repay me evil for good,and hatred for my friendship.

Ps.109.4-5

 The righteous choose their friends carefully,but the way of the wicked leads them astray. 

A perverse person stirs up conflict,and a gossip separates close friends.

Prov.12.26,Prov.16.2

I found some lists of toxic friendships…quite telling…then I had to ask myself, am I toxic? Truthfully answering….

Thank YOU….

Make me a servant…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPZy5HKn9AY

The RED light on  toxic friendships…

Behave selfishly…

They are critical of you…

They’re  too competitive…

They bring you down…

They manipulate you..

They can’t be trusted…

The drama never stops…

They’re insincere…

They’re unreliable…

They isolate you…

They tease or insult you regularly…

They want all of your attention…

They make themselves the perpetual  victim…

Use peer pressure…

They disrespect your boundaries….

Jealous of other friends…

You feel trapped or obligated…

Often withhold truth…

Feel drained…

Feel anxious…

https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-toxic-friend-8430982

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/toxic-friends/

Freindships…loyalty…

 Friendships….loyalty…

Jonathan, king Saul’s son, became fast friends with David, the next king of Israel… the closest David ever had…they maintained their friendship throughout Jonathan’s life and even extended to Jonathan’s son after David became king…

Loyal-unswerving in allegiance, faithful to a private person to whom faithfulness is due, faithful to a cause, ideal, custom , institution or product….Merriam Webster… 

“Loyalty is one of life’s most costly qualities; it is the most selfless part of love..to be loyal you cannot live only for yourself..” Bible Study notes…

Although Saul became an enemy of David and sought regularly to kill him, Jonathan remained true to his word in love and friendship to David , even while maintaining a relationship with his father, Saul…which must have been tricky, heart rending…

“When David and Jonathan met, they became close friends at once. Their friendship is one of the deepest and closest recorded in the Bible: they based their friendship on commitment to God, not just each other; they let nothing come  between them, not even career, or family problems; they drew closer together when their friendship was tested; they remained friends to the end.” Bible study notes…

 But David took an oath and said, “Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, ‘Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.’ Yet as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.”

1Sam.20.3

 After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. 

Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.

1Sam.20.41-42

 “How the mighty have fallen in battle!

Jonathan lies slain on your heights. 

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;you were very dear to me.Your love for me was wonderful,more wonderful than that of women.

2Sam.1.25-6

David and Jonathan, friends…it behooves each to find those lifetime friends…we have Jesus above all who remains our friend through the thick and thin… from the beginning to the end…

“A best friend can bring great joy, comfort, solace, and fun to your life. People are pack animals. They love to roam together and need friends to thrive—friends that share the good times and offer support in the bad.

Great friendships extend life. A 10-year-long Australian study showed that participants with solid friend groups were 22 percent more likely to live longer.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201612/8-strategies-for-dealing-with-the-toxic-people-in-your-life

Thank YOU….

What a friend we have in Jesus…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTpUQO0aryw&list=RDYTpUQO0aryw&start_radio=1

Good friends…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c-shtDOSyQ

Babysitter…

 

I had a “babysitter” for awhile when I was in grade school. She was always there when I got home from school until my parents arrived home from work… it wasn’t that I really needed one, but, a neighbor had abused me and taunted me when I arrived home alone….

That aside, this “babysitter” or friend as we really called her…loved soap operas and would watch them while she ironed awaiting my parents arrival…so  that was my introduction and only time I watched them…

They were filled with drama, with a variety of storylines concurrently weaving themselves together…jealousy, forbidden love, current events or lifestyles were featured and on and on…

As I read this verse about Saul….

 When Saul realized that the Lord was with David and that his daughter Michal loved David, Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days.

1Sam.18.28-29

I was drawn back to those soap opera days…the jealousy, the intrigue, the intensity of various relationships…

Paul, in the New Testament, lists traits of an ungodly life…acts of the flesh…followed by the fruit of the Spirit…

Fruit from the Spirit which we need to drawn on as we grow in our faith, our walk with God…not following the flesh…

Not being drawn in by the soap operas of life…and living there…

Instead living in love, joy peace, forbearance, kindness,goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control…a much better life…

Thank YOU….

 

 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder 2Cor.12.20

 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.

I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 

Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Gal.5.19-26

Fruit of the Spirit…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNOBR6SLHtI

One small stone, one big faith…

 One small stone, one big faith….

As I was reading  about David and Goliath this morning, God brought to mind this last year ….

A year ago I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer…the big “C” word, that no one wants to hear…in our family we have heard it a lot…leukemia, colon, lung, prostate, liver, melanoma, skin, Hodgkins, brain, breast and now, ovarian…some treatable and some not….

I thought of David and his five smooth stones…his undoubting faith in God…

 Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine. 

David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” 

As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.

So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.

1Sam.17:40, 45-50

Each of us may fight a battle, but the words that David  said, “for the battle is the Lord’s “…is the bottom line…whether with a small stone, a small vial of cancer killing drugs, a myriad of other tools to fight the myriad of battles we face daily…it is still in God’s hands…

 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,who daily bears our burdens.

Ps.68.19

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matt.11.28-30

I am soooooo thankful for all the burden bearers who came along side me in my battle…..

 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Gal.6.2

Firm foundation…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naumHKzRXCk

Appearances…

 Appearances…

In 1986, our family went to the World’s Fair in Vancouver, B.C….one of the exhibits from Egypt was some contents of one of the Egyptian tombs…one whole area of makeup  that the ancient queens wore…so interesting…not much different from today…

“The global cosmetics market size was estimated at USD 295.95 billion in 2023 and is expected to grow at a CAGR of 6.1% from 2024 to 2030. One of the primary factors driving market expansion is the increasing awareness among consumers to enhance their personal appearance”

https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/cosmetics-market

Reading 1 Samuel 16, Samuel was still caught up in appearances of the future king…as he had been with Saul previously…but, 

God was more interested in the heart of the future king….as we should be ourselves…while we may want to look nice, God is really more interested in our hearts and how we staid with Him…

Thank YOU

 David-“ When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.” But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.Then the Lord said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.””

1Sam.16.6,1Sam.16.7,12

Some other Bible descriptions of people…

 Saul-“There was a Benjamite, a man of standing, whose name was Kish son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Bekorath, the son of Aphiah of Benjamin. Kish had a son named Saul, as handsome a young man as could be found anywhere in Israel, and he was a head taller than anyone else.”

1Sam.9.1-2

 Jesus-“He grew up before him like a tender shoot,and like a root out of dry ground.He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.”

Isa.53.2

Paul-

“Paul Coomber

It is worth noting that the Bible seldom focuses on the physical features of people in the Bible narrative. However, there is one account, non-scriptural in origin, which may give us some idea of his appearance.

In the ‘Acts of Paul and Thecla,’ written about A. D. 150, there is a description of Paul which is probably the best, and a true tradition. In this he is described as ‘small in size, bald-headed, bandy-legged, well built, with eyebrows meeting; rather long nosed.’

The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church (1997 edition) says about that ancient writing: “It is not impossible that the ‘Acts’ contain some elements of historical truth.” The Acts of Paul and Thecla was highly regarded in early centuries, as confirmed by the fact that 80 Greek manuscripts of it exist, as well as versions in other languages.

Darzkin Saracen

Truthologist at Truth Supremacy, LLC (1997–present)Author has 743 answers and 550.6K answer views1y

Related

Was the Apostle Paul black?

In the Bible, Apostle Paul is mistaken for an Egyptian by a Roman soldier. This incident, along with the stories of Moses and Joseph blending into Egyptian society, can be analyzed to understand the racial identity of Paul, a Jew who converted to Christianity to spread Jesus Christ's teachings.

In Acts 21 the following verses read:

• 37 And as Paul was to be led into the castle, he said unto the chief captain, May I speak unto thee? Who said, Canst thou speak Greek?

• 38 Art not thou that Egyptian, which before these days madest an uproar, and leddest out into the wilderness four thousand men that were murderers?

• 39 But Paul said, I am a man which am a Jew of Tarsus, a city in Cilicia, a citizen of no mean city: and, I beseech thee, suffer me to speak unto the people.

Let's examine and combine specific biblical narratives to understand the relationship between the physical appearances of ancient Jews and Egyptians to better piece together the racial identity of Apostle Paul. The argument is built on three interconnected premises:

1. Premise 1: Moses, a Hebrew, was raised in Pharaoh's court and accepted as an Egyptian, suggesting that his physical appearance did not betray his Hebrew origin.

2. Premise 2: Joseph, also a Hebrew, rose to prominence in Egypt, and his brothers failed to recognize him when they arrived in Egypt. This may further indicate that there were no significant physical differences that would have marked him as distinct from Egyptians.

3. Premise 3: The Apostle Paul was mistaken for an Egyptian by a Roman soldier in Acts 21:37-38. Paul corrected the soldier by identifying himself as a Jew from Tarsus, a city in Cilicia (part of modern-day Turkey).”

“Appearance doesn’t reveal what people are really like or what their true value is….God judges by faith and character not appearances…” Bible notes

Lead me, Lord….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1jlHA6iLJQ

Verses of comfort….19…

 Verses of comfort…19…

I have been dealing with back pain since college…and sometimes it is a lot worse than others, for whatever reason…was working on upper back and lower back before cancer and colon surgery…and laying in the hospital bed for a month and rehab for 2 1/2 months did not help, although so much steroids and pain killers masked it for a time…

(Much of what I am experiencing now is from lifting my husband when he was ill with cancer…but, I wouldn’t trade that time for anything…)

As I lay awake last night, I thought of this first verse…totally out of context …how long, how long….will my enemy(pain) triumph over me…as I wrestled for a comfortable position, sheets and blankets….

I actually had to chuckle through it…He does comfort us….

Thank YOU….

 “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Psalm 13:1-2 NIV)

“To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27 NIV).

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (Hebrews 6:19a NIV).

“When I was sick, you took care of me” (Matthew 25:36

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:21-22 NIV).

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NIV). 

 

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23

He’s my rock, my sword…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HumevW8l2lA

Isaiah 25…

 Isaiah 25…

Because the day is the 25th, I looked up Isaiah 25, just to see what he wrote…a blessing…

 Lord, you are my God;I will exalt you and praise your name,for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things,things planned long ago. 

( Oh sing to the Lord a new song,for he has done marvelous things!His right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him.

Ps.98.1)

You have made the city a heap of rubble,the fortified town a ruin,the foreigners’ stronghold a city no more;it will never be rebuilt. 

Therefore strong peoples will honor you;cities of ruthless nations will revere you. 

You have been a refuge for the poor,a refuge for the needy in their distress,a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat.

( Let me dwell in your tent forever!Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah

Ps.61.4)

For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall     

and like the heat of the desert.

You silence the uproar of foreigners;as heat is reduced by the shadow of a cloud,so the song of the ruthless is stilled. 

On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples,a banquet of aged wine—the best of meats and the finest of wines. 

( I tell you, many will come from east and west and recline at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven,

Matt.8.11)

On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples,the sheet that covers all nations;     

he will swallow up death forever.The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tearsfrom all faces;he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth.The Lord has spoken. 

( When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:“Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory?O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1Cor.15.54-57)

( He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Rev.21.4)

In that day they will say,“Surely this is our God;we trusted in him, and he saved us.This is the Lord, we trusted in him;let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.” 

( May we shout for joy over your salvation,and in the name of our God set up our banners!May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!

Ps.20.5)

The hand of the Lord will rest on this mountain;but Moab will be trampled in their land as straw is trampled down in the manure. They will stretch out their hands in it,as swimmers stretch out their hands to swim.

God will bring down their pride despite the cleverness of their hands. He will bring down your high fortified walls-and lay them low;he will bring them down to the ground,to the very dust.

( In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him;all his thoughts are, “There is no God.”

Ps.10.4)

Isa.25.1-12

Thank YOU…

Forever…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUH_NzfRmbs