Glorious desperation....

Glorious desperation...

I took a spiritual gifting test again yesterday...I knew what the outcome would be, it really hasn't changed over the decades...but the manifestations of the gifting has...

I used to be in the everyday life on the local body of believers, involved in the  
decision making, the guts of the church, the office work, the creativity of activities, the planning of conferences,  teaching, facilitating, decorating, weddings, Bible Study development, meetings on goals, staff meetings about the lives of the body of believers of which I was a part...busy...loving every minute of it...
My husband was on boards, teaching, mentoring on various subjects-especially money management, encouraging others...involved as well...
We felt so fulfilled...so alive in what God was doing in our lives...

Then the "cancer" word and its ramifications hit and changed our family's lives forever...we continued to live out his short last months as well as we could...then fog...mazes of new "to us" directions, moving to a new community, dramatic changes...finding new paths, purposes slowly manifested itself and I am still finding my way...over 4 years later...oh, how I miss the former days...the usefulness I felt, meeting others needs daily, counseling, mentoring ...."the leeks" of a former home...
I miss the day to day love of my  husband, the common goals, the activity of those around  us, the purpose, the creativity of ideas...

But, on the other hand, I am learning so much in this new life, meeting new people  I would have not met if I stayed where I was, watching my children and grandchildren grow and mature, learning new life lessons, writing things I never took time to put down....a new chapter...and maybe many new chapters...

Studying 2 Timothy, Paul's last book...brings light to these years...how he trusts, how he wants to encourage his "dear son" to carry on the gifts that God has entrusted to him...

And that word "entrusted" is key to all of our lives...we are entrusted with so much from God, nothing is wasted, no experiences, no years of activity or no activity, no teaching....nothing is wasted...and that is hard to wrap my head around...God uses everything to grow us, entrusting us with more and more to give ...

Thank YOU....

2 Timothy 1:11-14 And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am.
Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.
What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.
Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

Taps....a tribute...

http://www.coolestone.com/media/15818/John-Wayne---Taps---An-American-Tribute-to-Veterans/#.WCXPt5A76K1

Spiritual lineage....

Spiritual lineage....

Ever since I wrote about "convergence" I have been thinking about spiritual lineage and then this morning, the writer of a Bible study brought up the term again...how we can look back in our parental and bloodlines and see our spiritual lineage, but also all the people who were instrumental in our lives, who taught, encouraged, challenged, loved, prayed, etc...who were involved in our lives to bring us to the point where  we are currently....who encourage us to move forward.....

I remember sitting at a little children's table, probably about 2nd or 3rd grade, memorizing the 23rd Psalm for a prize of my own Bible (I still have that first Bible), singing "Jesus loves Me" with my mother in front of church when I was about 6 years old...those first stirrings/memories that church was important, that God's Word was worth working for, reading, knowing...that teacher who took time to instill in children's lives a love and desire to know God...that mother who taught me children's songs about Jesus' love....

So many others through life, Bible Study teachers, pastors, critics, friends, books, family members, correspondence schools, seminaries.....multitudes....who knowingly and unknowingly pointed my heart, mind and soul in His direction...mentoring...encouraging ....being a light in dark times...joyful in the good times...wrapping me in arms of love in hard times...sharing tears of joy and sorrow....

In application, am I doing the same for those who enter my sphere of life...am I entering other people spheres for good...encouraging them in their walk, being a part of their spiritual lineage? I, who have been entrusted with much, am I giving freely of that trust???  Oh, please, God, open my eyes to those whom you have purposely put in my life, my path...to offer what you have offered to me...thank YOU...

Job 37:5 God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.

1 Thessalonians 2:12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

Matthew 10:8b ......Freely you have received; freely give.

Psalm 92....

Psalm 92...

Psalm 92:1-15 (amplified) It is a good and delightful thing to give thanks to the Lord, To sing praises to Your name, O Most High,
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning And Your faithfulness by night, With an instrument of ten strings and with the harp, With a solemn sound on the lyre.
For You, O Lord, have made me glad by Your works; At the works of Your hands I joyfully sing.
How great are Your works, O Lord! Your thoughts are very deep beyond man’s understanding.
A senseless man in his crude and uncultivated state knows nothing, Nor does a self-righteous fool understand this:
That though the wicked sprout up like grass And all evildoers flourish, They will be destroyed forever.
But You, Lord, are on high forever.
For behold, Your enemies, O Lord, For behold, Your enemies will perish; All who do evil will be scattered.
But my horn (my emblem of strength and power)You have exalted like that of a wild ox; I am anointed with fresh oil for Your service.
My eye has looked on my foes; My ears hear of the evildoers who rise up against me.
The righteous will flourish like the date palm long-lived, upright and useful; They will grow like a cedar in Lebanon majestic and stable.
Planted in the house of the Lord, They will flourish in the courts of our God. Growing in grace they will still thrive and bear fruit and prosper in old age; They will flourish and be vital and fresh rich in trust and love and contentment;
They are living memorials to declare that the Lord is upright
 and faithful to His promises; He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.

I was not able to go to church yesterday. But woke up to this psalm this morning...a psalm for the sabbath day...how appropriate...especially this last Sunday before the most irregular national elections that I have ever seen in my voting life...

God is in control, He raises up and tears down...His will will be done...
Thank YOU...he knows who is righteous and who are the enemies...He knows who will rise and who will fall...He knows who will flourish, grow in grace, who will thrive ....He knows who is self righteous and senseless ....

You, are on high forever....and as the battles go on before me, I need to remember that fact...thank YOU....

Convergence.....

Convergence .....

I know I have written about this before , but was reminded of it again this week...convergence...

Patrick McManus writes about it ....
Beth Moore writes about it...
God writes about it....

Convergence.....how everything in our lives, events-good and bad, people-helpful and unhelpful, challenges, experiences, birth order, etc., etc., etc...work in our lives to make us who we are...
Nothing is by accident...everything is filtered by a loving God for our good...

Look at Biblical people....God rearranged the world so that His ways could happen...Moses, Joseph, Ruth, Joseph and Mary, Job, John the Baptist, Paul, Timothy....to name a few...God strategically placed each one so that His will could be  carried out....

And He still does that today in our lives and those around us...I had to ask myself again, what have been all the events, people, etc. and look deeper into the answers to thank God...I don't see the big picture of my life like He can...and there many painful things that have happened, but they added dimension and character qualities as did the good things in life...He uses everything to build and teach us...thank YOU.....


Romans 8:28-30 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Exodus 33:14 The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

 Acts 2:28 You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.’

John 14:26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

Amazing beauty...

Amazing beauty....

This is the fifth time I have been to these islands that make up the state of Hawaii...and they are still filled and will continue to be awe inspiring ...the "jungle " of vegetation , the dry deserts with hidden springs, the sunsets, the waves relentlessly crashing on the endless miles of coastlines, the canyons of color, the rivers and streams, the beautiful birds, the clouds which weave in and out of the mountain spires, the people-both visiting and residents, the tidal pools, the fields of crops, fish in schools of color, the volcanoes and their landscapes, etc, etc, etc....

Thank YOU for the creation You designed for our pleasure...for the love of color and beauty...how You must enjoy creating...designing...giving us awe...

Psalm 104:1-25 Praise the Lord, my soul. Lord my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty.
The Lord wraps himself in light as with a garment; he stretches out the heavens like a tent and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters.
He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the wings of the wind. He makes winds his messengers, flames of fire his servants.
He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved. You covered it with the watery depths as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains.
But at your rebuke the waters fled, at the sound of your thunder they took to flight; they flowed over the mountains, they went down into the valleys, to the place you assigned for them.
You set a boundary they cannot cross; never again will they cover the earth. He makes springs pour water into the ravines; it flows between the mountains.
They give water to all the beasts of the field; the wild donkeys quench their thirst.
The birds of the sky nest by the waters; they sing among the branches. He waters the mountains from his upper chambers; the land is satisfied by the fruit of his work.
He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for people to cultivate— bringing forth food from the earth: wine that gladdens human hearts, oil to make their faces shine, and bread that sustains their hearts.
The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.
There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers. The high mountains belong to the wild goats; the crags are a refuge for the hyrax.
He made the moon to mark the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down.
You bring darkness, it becomes night, and all the beasts of the forest prowl. The lions roar for their prey and seek their food from God.
The sun rises, and they steal away; they return and lie down in their dens. Then people go out to their work, to their labor until evening.
How many are your works, Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.
There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number— living things both large and small.
All creatures look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things.
When you hide your face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and return to the dust.
When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground.
May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works— he who looks at the earth, and it trembles, who touches the mountains, and they smoke.
I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord.
But may sinners vanish from the earth and the wicked be no more. Praise the Lord, my soul. Praise the Lord.

Driving in the dark....

Driving in the dark...

I arrived at a beautiful destination in the dark.....I have a picture of what it is supposed to look like, but no real sense of the real..even outside lights were  turned off to protect a certain bird, so even the house was shrouded in darkness.

The inside is nice, and I have expectations of what to see when light appears in the morning...the wild chickens are crowing, an unknown bird is singing, it is raining, leaves are dripping, ....the sounds make it different from home....but I still don't know what it looks like....

Many times life is this way..we think we know the destination and we have a picture of what it looks like, but we can't really see it, but must have faith that it will be what we envision...or it may be better or worse...trust....obedience....in others or in what God has in store for us...knowing that He has our best interests at heart...He knows the real destination...even while we may be "driving in the dark"....

Thank YOU that You know the way..your light shines in the darkness...giving direction and life...

Psalm 112:4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.

Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

Oh.....the daylight is coming and it is beautiful to see....