Rehearsing....

Rehearsing.....

I woke up this morning, in the softness of the day....no yet daylight...night still for many...thinking about the coming day, praying for what was laid in my mind, rehearsing what events are coming, neither bad or good, this time....opened Jesus calling and the phrase, "rehearsing Your troubles" stood out in neon lights, it seemed...

How many times have I rehearsed my troubles?  Chewed on and mulled over upcoming events, meetings, medical, mail, until they have become so magnified that they governed my attitude, my emotions, my life???  Failing to lay them down before the cross or going to Jesus with the burden and handing them over to His restful care? ....innumerable ....

.and for what purpose?....rehearsing doesn't make me a better actress, my lines are scary, the set and props unpainted...the Director and Author of the day is waiting for me to listen to Him, rather than the unknown, the fears, the what ifs,the liar/deceiver who wishes to ruin the whole script....

So a retake would be, laying down the day at the Director's feet, asking for His direction, His dialogue, His script, .....and waiting for His reward.....not the shiny manmade statue...or the worries that usually don't come true...but, entering the day with His peace...

Thank YOU, that You Are the ultimate Director in the preparation for Heaven...help me to listen to your truth, your word each day....

Jesus calling-January 16

Come to Me, and rest in My loving Presence. You know that this day will bring difficulties, and you are trying to think your way through those trials. As you anticipate what is ahead of you, you forget that I am with you—now and always. Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur. Do not multiply your suffering in this way! Instead, come to Me, and relax in My Peace. I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
—Matthew 11:28–30

“No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you… Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
—Joshua 1:5, 9

Life..connected...

Life.....

I was reading this morning in John 5:39-40, You diligently study the scriptures  because you think that by them you possess eternal life.  These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

Jesus is life...

John 1:4 in him was life, and that life was the light of men..

John speaks of life more than anyone in the New Testament...

This morning, as well as yesterday afternoon, I have no internet connection...not sure why, but that is the reality. I can't read the news, read and answer letters, play words with friends, can't work on my photos or shop,  go back and forth to my Bible program, look up words, .....there is no life connection in either of my computers...I am back to a one dimension world... My computers have no life connection....I can write and read what is already on them, but that is all...but no life...they are turned on and have electricity...but not connecting to the world of cyberspace ....

When I was thinking about this in reference to Jesus, I can study, write,  just as the Jews were doing in John 5. But if I refuse to connect with Jesus there is no life...all the studying and writing in world brings me no closer to Him, if I don't believe and dwell in His life and He in mine....He is life itself ....

I want that life that only Jesus can give, that connectivity with Him, that truth from the Holy Spirit dwelling within me, ....I don't want just a one dimension world....even though I don't fully understand in my finite world, I want that connection with Christ....even when I can't see or know He doing, He is still working, moving ..living...He is life....

Thank YOU, that you are life...You created us, wanting fellowship with us...connection....You provide life abundantly .... 

Pac man.....

Pac man.....

Sometimes I see others so consumed with anger, sorrow, regret, pain, shock, abandonment, control, despair, that I just want to hug it all away...they come in all forms, to all ages, all cultures, both men and women...there is no delineation, no boundaries...

from the wife whose husband is jailed for porn, the teenager on drugs, the husband who has lost his job, the parents whose little child has died,   death of a loved one, the elderly wandering in and out of reality.....and on and on...myself included .....

the picture that came to me in the night was Pac man, one of our first computer games on our first computer....gobbling up whatever he was gobbling... or another game was the mouse in the maze, trying and trying to get the cheese....forever going against walls...

The Pac man reminded me of something gobbling up the joy of life, one thing after another, taking it all until there was none left...the mouse was trying to get food....life without pain....

Two games which we all have the opportunity to take part in, in life...

I don't want my joy taken away...nor my painlessness...but in reality there are times joy is gobbled up and there is pain....

My favorite book in the Bible are the Psalms....again and again the writers bring their sorrow, anger, despair to God... And again and again, He brings their eyes to Him....he hasn't left or forsaken, He isn't asleep, nor has He forgotten them (or me)...He is there, maybe blurred by the tears, emotions we bring..and there is joy after the mourning...it may not be immediate like we desire, but in seeking it we learn more of Him...

There are times when our anger is turned toward God, thinking that He is the Pac man in our lives, gobbling up everything, joy, fun, us...He is not...He is there through the storms, holding us, sheltering us even when we don't see or feel Him...He is giving us freedom from the world,  even when we don't know it....He is loving us through it all....wanting us to furrow deeper and deeper into Him...

Thank YOU, Giver of joy and life...Shelter in the Storms...Comforter in life...

We are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

Lamentations 3:22-24 NIV

"carve your name on hearts and not on marble"....

"Carve your name on hearts and not on marble"....

The whole quote is as follows, "those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you. So carve your name on hearts and not on marble" by Charles Spurgeon......

This quote was among the many quotes in a grandfather's memory book...basically asking , "where have you carved your name, on stone or on the hearts of people?"

It is food for thought .....where do we put our energies that will be fruitful?

We are to be fruitful and multiply both in the numeric sense as well in the spiritual sense...in discipling others...

As I sort through my parents voluminous piles of papers, what is important and what isn't?   After they purchased a copier, he kept copies of all his letters to others...they read like a daily journal or history book of stories...some mundane and others entertaining...he even made stick people to entertain his great grandchildren with stories.....my grandmother, his mother, would add "tee hee" or "ha, ha" to her letters when she thought something was funny..

But, back to the question, where am I carving my name?   What has God deemed important? Am I doing that? Or am I seeking a name for myself in stone? What will my grandchildren remember?  What will my children remember?  More importantly , am I helping anyone to seek having their name written on God's book of life? Multiplying the Kingdom?

Thank YOU, for those who have gone before, carving their names in my heart...help me to have the right priorities to do the same..not seeking man's glory, but God's....

Romans 12:10, 15, 17-18 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 

Revelation 20:11-12 Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. The earth and the heavens fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. 

 Charles Haddon (CH) Spurgeon; 19 June 1834 – 31 January 1892) was a British Particular Baptist preacher. Spurgeon remains highly influential among Christians of various denominations, among whom he is known as the "Prince of Preachers". He was a strong figure in the Reformed Baptisttradition, defending the Church in agreement with the 1689 London Baptist Confession of Faithunderstanding, and opposing the liberal and pragmatic theological tendencies in the Church of his day.

It is estimated that in his lifetime, Spurgeon preached to around 10,000,000 people, Spurgeon was the pastor of the congregation of the New Park Street Chapel (later the Metropolitan Tabernacle) in London for 38 years.He was part of several controversies with the Baptist Union of Great Britain and later had to leave the denomination.In 1857, he started a charity organisation which is now called Spurgeon's and works globally. He also founded Spurgeon's College, which was named after him posthumously.

Spurgeon was a prolific author of many types of works including sermons, an autobiography, commentaries, books on prayer, devotionals, magazines, poetry, hymns and more. Many sermons were transcribed as he spoke and were translated into many languages during his lifetime. Spurgeon produced powerful sermons of penetrating thought and precise exposition. His oratory skills held his listeners spellbound in the Metropolitan Tabernacle and many Christians have discovered Spurgeon's messages to be among the best in Christian literature. Wikipedia 

Prepared for the day?

Prepared for the day?......

The "assignment" read Romans, chapter 12 everyday;  read it aloud; choose a "year's " verse, memorize it, summarize it into one word; write a prayer and share it....not too bad...doable...scary to share.....

I share most everyday on a blog that is read in various parts of the world...to some with recognizable faces, some complete strangers...sharing first about grieving, then life on a new level, a new awareness than ever before...vulnerability as never before....

widowhood changes life...it  enhances appreciation, gratitude, joy of the now, new relationship with God as Father, Husband...and many other characteristics that He is...

Whereas before I lived by lists, plans, schedules, planned days, daily Bible Studies and readings,.....now each day is a new wonder in His Word,  topic backed by God's word as He  chooses and opens new vistas of words on paper...sometimes He brings a picture to mind or object lesson, or a thought to be explored...then backs it up with His word...it is both challenging and humbling to do that "daily" waiting....and writing...and finally sharing ....

So back the the assignment....there is so much in Romans 12.  For me, it covers that basic commitment to Christ, worship, following His Word, discovering our gifting, growing in the fruit of Spirit, Christian disciplines,  unity in the body, living with the world as a Christian-acknowledging evil and God's response to it as well as mine........a short-intense summary of being a Christ follower all in one chapter...

What would be my chosen verse?  Verse 8a ..."if it is  encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously..."    chosen word?... Encourage or fruit...

I have to be truthful, verse 12, has dominated the last four years ...." Be joyful  in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer".  I had to grasp onto joy, hope, patience, prayer....seek them out diligently through the haze of grief...of losing both parents and my husband...there were times that I couldn't grasp, but was held and I still am by the loving arms of a loving God...

Now, moving forward, I can be the encourager at greater depth....through Christ's strength...and I can be the steward of giving to the needs of others...whereas before giving was a partnership with my husband, which was exhilarating, now I am learning to partner with my adult children and God seeking their ways of giving.....what a unspeakably wonderful experience.....

Lord, each day is new, each day is prepared for me especially by You....am I prepared for it?...no, not all the time....Your Word speaks to my heart every moment, You speak....help me  listen .....help me be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer.....help me encourage as You have encouraged me....comfort as You have comforted...help our family steward resources wisely to people and places of Your choosing....help me be joyful, living in harmony, devoted, honoring to others.....reflecting You in all I do...Thank YOU....

This " happened " to be today's devotional from "Jesus Calling" so am sharing it...

January 12
Jesus  calling-Let Me prepare you for the day that stretches out before you. I know exactly what this day will contain, whereas you have only vague ideas about it. You would like to see a map, showing all the twists and turns of your journey. You’d feel more prepared if you could somehow visualize what is on the road ahead. However, there is a better way to be prepared for whatever you will encounter today: Spend quality time with Me.
I will not show you what is on the road ahead, but I will thoroughly equip you for the journey. My living Presence is your Companion each step of the way. Stay in continual communication with Me, whispering My Name whenever you need to redirect your thoughts. Thus, you can walk through this day with your focus on Me. My abiding Presence is the best road map available.
The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
—Exodus 33:14
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.”
—John 15:4–7

Sent from my iPad

Prepared for grief?.......

Prepared for grief?.....

One of the questions the Griefshare workbook asks is; "Pretend you are writing a letter to a friend to help him or her prepare for grief...what would you tell your friend to expect?"

Prepared for grief??? How do you prepare for grief?  I looked at this question over and over...no one could have "prepared" me except whether or not I was  part of God's family....that is the basic, bottom line preparation...then i at least knew I had Someone beside me, with me, in me no matter what...but prepared? No way...no matter how many times I have watched others go through grief, given out books, held their hands, given them hugs, encouraged them...it is still an individual experience that tests us to our very inmost depth, souls and beyond....

It is good and but, sometimes overwhelming,  to go through a grief class,  but one has to be ready to start to assimilate life again after the death of a loved one...ready to move forward, ready to accept all the emotions that come tumbling out, the lost expectations, the anger, the holidays, the new normals, the "life goes on", The decisions, the torrent of tears, even the joy and laughter, the "why Lord questions", even the "thank you", or whatever comes forth from that place of grief...

Like Lazarus coming forth out of the grave when Jesus called him...he was clothed in death wrappings, newly aware of life, probably treated differently, asked "what was it like?", but probably a new perspective on life around him....we, who have grieved or are grieving are newly aware of changes in our lives, are shedding our death wrappings, are working through a different level of life, are still answering "what is it like" questions and may be treated differently.....what will be our new normal....what will define us....who will we comfort, encourage...who will be our Guide....

Thank YOU that You are always there...even sometimes when we don't "feel " it...help us to come forth, alive in You...

If you are having trouble viewing this daily devotion, please click here Who Is This? Daily Devotional for January 11 From the Writings of Ray Stedman From your friends at www.RayStedman.org Read the Scripture: Mark 6:7-52 Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened (Mark 6:51-52), We cannot understand this last miracle unless we see it as a kind of examination period given to these disciples after the feeding of the five thousand. Our Lord had sent them out, had given them power. They had seen their ministry confirmed and authenticated by the hand of God working through them. They had come back excited and turned on by all they had seen and done. They had now been taught that Jesus was the one who was coming to fulfill the expectation of a Messiah to be given to Israel, promised throughout all the prophetic centuries. But somehow they seemed to miss it all. So He gives them an examination, a test, to see how they are doing. He sends them out into a storm, but this time it is different. He is not with them in the boat. He sends them out alone, deliberately, and He goes up into the hills to pray. How many of the storms of our life are made up of these two elements--trouble that comes to us and seems to be overwhelming us, and the seeming absence of the Lord? Nevertheless, there is One up on the hillside praying for us. After the storm has blown for several hours and the disciples are in deep distress, Jesus comes to them, walking upon the water. When they see Him they are scared out of their wits because they think He is a ghost. He has to reassure them: It--that thing you see that scares you to death--it is I; don't be afraid. How many times does He have to say that to us? That thing that scares us, frightens us--It is I; be not afraid. He got into the boat, and they were absolutely flabbergasted! This indicates the grade they got on this exam. It was F. It was a total failure, but it astonished them. For the second time, now, their eyes are opened to begin to question: Who then is this? And they begin to listen. This opens the door for some of our Lord's greatest teaching to His disciples regarding why He came. And this is our Lord's question to us: Who is this? Who sends the storms into our lives? Who tests us? Who makes provision for our needs and then tests us on it? Who gives us a promise and then sends us out to see if we believe what we teach or what we say? It is the Lord Himself. This is what He is doing with us, as he did with His disciples. He is training us, teaching us, preparing us, building into our lives, as He built into their lives, so that we might be men and women of faith, confident and calm and able to cope with life. Thank You, Father, for what You are doing with me. Though I live in the midst of perilous times and travel among troubled seas, I know who You are--the King of kings and Lord of lords. Life Application: When our lives are outwardly commendable but our faith and spiritual perception is weak, what things may God use to strengthen us, train us, and make us teachable? Related Message: This daily devotional was inspired by one of Ray's messages. Please read "Who is This?" or listen to Ray for more on this portion of scripture. Devotions for January from Mark << Previous Day Next Day >> Subscribe/Unsubscribe to the Daily Devotion by Email Copyright © 2007 by Elaine Stedman — This daily devotion is from the book The Power of His Presence: a year of devotions from the writings of Ray Stedman; compiled by Mark Mitchell. It may be copied for personal non-commercial use only in its entirety free of charge. All copies must contain this copyright notice and a hyperlink to www.RayStedman.org if the copy is posted on the Internet.

Snapping beans....tradition ...

String beans.....tradition....

I was standing at the kitchen sink, methodically snapping green beans one by one and it hit me, "I could be doing this an easier way".....so I got out my knife, cut, cut and I was done with the pile...why didn't I think of this sooner??? Tradition...

It is like the story of the woman cutting the end off of a ham to put it in the pan and then the oven to bake...her daughter asks, "why the cut?"

" I don't know, but that is what my mom did, let me ask"

" I cut it so that it would fit into the certain pan I had".   Tradition.....

I realized that I hand snap green beans because we did it that way..we would harvest beans and then sit on the porch or In the kitchen, visiting, while we snapped the beans for a meal or for canning or freezing...part of the ritual, work and fellowship...I think, if I still had my grandmother or mother, I would still sit and visit and not look for short cuts...just enjoy their company...

I have to sit back and think ever once in a while, "am I doing this out of tradition or is this the best way?" That goes for church and my spiritual side as well..is it just a habit or what?  

Jesus called out religious leaders on traditions, man's ways...to examine themselves and their ways...were they following God or man...were they "looking good" for themselves...were they really worshipping or was it habit?...were they praying in earnest or fame?...

I have to do the same, ask the same questions of myself...habit or real, tradition or real, exalting myself or God.....looking good or humility...then rectify the situation, attitude for the right reasons....

Thank YOU for traditions, but help me the find the "best", and not just fall back on habit...search for You...not just for the comfortable .....be approved by You not just people....

Matthew 15:1-20 Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!” Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: “‘These people honor me with their lips,but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain;their teachings are merely human rules.’” Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and understand. What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?” He replied, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” Peter said, “Explain the parable to us.” “Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”